Short Stories

Sales Department.. A Great Day To Change Diapers


Are you OK?”  


Just as I finish my words, he pukes in my face, all the while; his running diaper is spilling onto my new Ralph Lauren button down shirt. I just bought this thing at a $100 a pop. Ruined I say.  I now start to panic a bit as I hear the twins starting to rustle and hustle in their room.  I’m out matched for sure. 


“Mick, what happened?”


“Are you alright?” I ask.


“Not phelling gud dad” mumbles little Mick.


He is covered with puke and diarrhea. The bed is soaked with piss as well. The walls are covered with a mix that is now staining the egg shell white walls a mix of brown, yellow, orange and a tint of charcoal. His clothes are ruined as are mine.


I have never seen anything like this before.  Having raised two children from a previous marriage, I thought I had this dad thing pretty well under control.  I am learning that I do not.


I grab the small blanket that looks to be the least damaged of the bunch, wipe myself down and wrap Mick in it as I race to the main bathroom on the second floor of our home. I know I gotta get this child and myself into the shower and cleaned up real fast. 


Oh, I have not mentioned the smell. Imagine a peat bog in 110 degree heat with 100% humidity that is surrounded by a 19th century septic system that is overflowing.  That is Mick.  The smell alone would make you sick.


As I dance down the hall towards the bathroom I hear the two older boys in their bedroom.


“Dad, help me” I hear James yell.


“Dad, I’m Sick” screams Jack.


“Dad” I hear in unison.


“Help” “Help”


“Stay where you are, I’m helping Mickey right now.”


“I will be right there” I tell the twins.


At this point, I know I am in way over my head.  I am in need of assistance; I am really in need of a high speed, stage left Snagglepuss exit! 

Read more by purchasing the book

Trials, Tribulations and Triumph, Short Stories of Life

Trials, Tribulations and Triumph, Short Stories of Life

All photos are taken and owned by James C. Ryan

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